Finding Beauty in the Stillness of the Everyday
I often find that we follow certain people as a form of escapism. Lately, I think many of us need that with all that’s going on. Not to forget what’s happening in the world (because it’s important to acknowledge) but to have moments where we can breathe and just appreciate something small. A survival technique we can all probably use in today’s reality.
When I think about my life and what I enjoy most. It can all be wrapped up into this one concept… romanticizing. And it’s what I offer others too and why I think I’ve attracted my audience. Inspiring content that simply evokes a feel-good moment.
The gloomy weather looms outside as I draft this note. I’m sitting in my big comfy white chair in the living room window. I have my wicker lamp glowing in the corner. Candles lit throughout the apartment, flames flickered by the soft breeze coming in through an open window. The hum of rain fills the air, complimented by a jazzy playlist.
I’ll go for a walk in a bit in one of my favorite charming neighborhoods. I’ll imagine what it’s like to live in an old home, ivy-covered, and filled with character. I’ll walk the cobblestone and stop to admire the many details that others will never notice. I’ll pop into a cozy coffee shop and order a warm drink and people watch. I’ll buy myself flowers. I’ll pour a glass of wine in the evening and cook something like croque monsieur. I’ll pretend I’m the main character. I’ll romanticize. And I’ll feel instant happiness at every aesthetically pleasing and intentional moment —focused only on the petite joys, pushing aside the noise.
Research says romanticizing was quickly made popular during the pandemic—though I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t do this. I could attribute that to my parents. Two incredibly creative people. A woman who writes beautifully, has always had fresh flowers in the house, and pays close attention to the details of her homes… a traveler. A man who is a craftsman and an artist, who could paint the most incredibly captured scenes from his mind and build anything from nothing. He sees the potential in every mess.
Romanticizers live in the present. In the most mundane points of our days, we’re finding happiness by simply looking for the beauty in our daily routines. I often capture these cozy, aesthetic pieces of my life to share with you all. I do all I can to create a home that feels like a scene from a favorite cozy film. I light my candles most evenings. I use the antique dinnerware. I drink out of my fancy glasses. I make flower arrangements and create. I believe in making everything I can beautiful.
I thought my life would look so different at 33. As I got older and realized the vision I had for myself wasn’t necessarily shaping up, I shifted. Instead of constantly thinking about a future house, husband, career, and life… I focused inward on what made me happy right now. I stopped waiting for my life to happen.
And through romanticizing, I found clarity in what matters most to me. I stopped putting pressure on myself to find a partner, make the most money, have the busiest social life, and go above and beyond at work to the point of burnout. I recognized the beauty in quieter living. Making meaningful connections, taking my time, living more intentionally, and noticing the little things. This brought me peace and most importantly, enjoyment in the life I’ve created for myself.
“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.”
Pearl S. Buck
Romanticizing doesn’t mean bypassing the challenges or escaping reality. We could spend our days focused on the negative, bitter happenings of our worlds. But what kind of life would that be? While it’s incredibly important to acknowledge these things and do what we can to play a positive part, we also deserve to feel good and appreciate the lives we worked hard to build for ourselves.
It’s not about achieving aesthetic perfection or pretending to be happy. It’s about giving us room to breathe and finding light in the dark. It’s about immersing ourselves into being the main characters of our lives rather than the supporting actor watching it pass us by.
The art of romanticizing can help us feel a better sense of fulfillment where we are right now. It gives us room to value the beauty in our every day and appreciate what we often take for granted. For many of us, we have to find pockets of peace and clarity. For me, it’s found in creating a life where I’ve made each and every moment a bit more meaningful. I couldn’t recommend it more.
Especially during a time where many of us are struggling to stay above water and take care of our mental health. Sometimes our minds need a bit of embellishment. And sometimes we need a way to feel like we have control of our lives, when so often, we do not. Next time you’re having trouble finding your light… a little romanticizing can go a long way.
Stop to smell the roses. Remember to look up. Notice the way the light dances across a room. Listen to the birds sing or the hustle and bustle of strangers flying by you. Look out for lovers and friends and laughter and remember that there are good people in the world. Embrace the sound of rain outside your window.
Disconnect. Take yourself on a walk or a long country drive. Read a book in your comfiest corner. Journal or write your friend a letter to be mailed. Crochet. Do a puzzle. Paint. Create. Sit in silence with yourself. Breathe.
Go on outings. Go antiquing, visit a museum, take a garden tour, go to the movies, go to the farmers market, or simply take a walk through your favorite neighborhood, capture beautiful homes, and be left feeling inspired.
Be intentional about how you decorate your space. You would be surprised to learn how much your environment affects your mood. Make it your own — a cozy oasis from the noise of the world.
Give yourself little joys. Buy yourself flowers and spend some time arranging them. Buy yourself candles and light them often. Take yourself to a cute little coffee shop and treat yourself. Date yourself. Put a nice outfit on. Take yourself out to dinner somewhere pretty. Sit at the bar. Order your favorite meal.
Use the good stuff. Don’t save the precious things for “one day.” Whether you’re alone or hosting a big party, never miss an opportunity to dress up your table or your meals and yourself.
Put a good playlist on. Pretend you’re in Europe. Cook yourself a good meal. Dance around the kitchen with your partner, with your dog, or with yourself. Feel good.
I recently restarted Grey’s Anatomy. And I can’t help but always smile at Meredith and Cristina’s “dance it out” moments. When life hands them something terrible or they witness a tragic case at the hospital, they give themselves these pockets of joy. Or in Stepmom, when Jackie, diagnosed with cancer and awaiting her imminent death, sings and dances to “Ain't No Mountain High Enough” with her kids in her bedroom and out to the landing.
We’re all aware of the bad things that can happen in the world and within our own lives. But it’d be a shame to let the good go unnoticed and wasted. We need those moments too.
