A Return to the Blog and a Hello to September
Hello, dear friends. I trust your summer has been wonderful! It’s been over two months since my last post, and I can sincerely say that the break has been profoundly refreshing. I’ve been savoring every fleeting moment of summer offline and enjoyed a quiet few months.
Of course, now that September has rolled around… I’ve come alive. Fall feeds my soul unlike any other season. I love the fresh feeling this time of year brings and September in particular always feels nostalgic. We never quite shed that back-to-school feeling, do we? “It makes me want to buy school supplies” as Joe Fox so perfectly puts it. The sun-drenched days of summer give way to crispy cool mornings and shorter days. We settle into new routines. And life seems to quiet down in the best way as we anticipate cozier moments. A new chapter starts.
You may have noticed that you’re perusing this content on my website rather than in my Substack newsletter. After a year of grappling with Substack’s platform and using it as a blog, I found myself longing for this familiar space. A recent poll I shared on Instagram revealed that you all aren’t as enamored with Substack as I thought!!! As the platform grew increasingly crowded, I sensed the same overwhelm that seems to be affecting many of you. Plus, I understand that emails can sometimes become a nuisance, especially if you’re subscribing to lots of creators. So I’ve decided to return to my beloved corner of the web, where I feel like my blog really belongs, while reserving my Substack for monthly newsletters. I hope you enjoy reconnecting with this space.
My September newsletter will be going out tomorrow! And I’m officially back to sharing blog posts here. Ta ta for now!
The Business of January
I think I’ve officially learned to embrace winter and look to it as a gentle season. While it can often feel like a dark, depressing time for many, I’ve found comfort in the quiet hum - the crackle of the ground beneath our feet, the nip of the cold air as you step outside, smoke rising from chimneys, hot soup, staying cozied up inside, big coats, warm gatherings, and early evenings. Just as I send this, I’m looking out the window to our first bit of tiny snowfall. I sigh at the petite joy it brings me! I’ve found solace in completely giving over to hibernation season and the stillness of January.
I’m not making any big commitments or filling my social calendar up. Instead, I’m resigning myself to keeping life simple and easing into the year - giving myself days to get out, maybe a long walk in a favorite neighborhood or a museum visit or antiquing (things I can do in silence), but mostly, giving myself days to stay home. Like nature, we need a moment of rest and pause. Where others are quick to fill their weeks with plans or get ahead on their goals, I’m happy to do the least.
And with all this time at home…winter is the perfect moment to take advantage of tidying up our lives. I thought it may be helpful to share what I’m doing this month to create a bit of a clean slate and usher in space to recharge. Of course, all of this is to be done in the comfort of home, giving ourselves time to refresh so we can be motivated to take on the world come spring! I do realize we cannot all be so lucky to find the time, and that being a single, childless woman really has its perks here. But either way, I hope you may find these helpful.
— Create Offline: Put down your phone or laptop and work with your hands. I’ve found so much creative fulfillment in little things that cater to my inner child or give me room to just have fun. With winter being a season that many of us want to stay cozied up indoors from, crafty activities are a great way to spend your time. If you need ideas, may I suggest building a book nook, painting taper candles, working on a puzzle (favorites here if you love the worlds of Jane Austen, Brontë, James Joyce, and Shakespeare), coloring (polly pocket nostalgia!), making your own charm jewelry, building a fabulous lego flower/coffee shop, or any arts & crafts inspired by your favorite artists (love everything Celeste Clark or Emily Isabella make).
— Do Nothing: I don’t quite mean this literally, although, I do think a bit of dolce far niente is the key to true contentedness. What I mean here, is give yourself the space (and grace) to literally be a couch potato and rot a bit without feeling guilty. Binge hours of your favorite show, sit in silence and read, dedicate time in your day to putting on your favorite comfort movie, take many a nap, play cozy farming games on your Switch. Mindless moments are important too.
— Plan Recipes: Look through your cookbooks or favorite chefs on social media and bookmark recipes you’d like to try. I’m attempting to make a list of 24 easy, minimal ingredient recipes to refer back to and quickly pull when I need ideas during the year. Plus, I’ll have learned how to make a bunch of new meals that are now part of my rotation. My entire TikTok is basically cooking, so if you need some inspiration, I love A Good Table, Kendall Andronico, Half Baked Harvest, Wishbone Kitchen, Salt & Sage, Kristen Hushen, or Manon Lagréve.
— Purge and Donate: You know that one closet that is bursting with the chaos of coats or towels or things you never use or things you’ve been meaning to donate? Make a list of all those little spaces you’ve wanted to organize. The junk drawers, the closets, the kitchen cabinets, the bathroom storage, etc. And when you have nothing to do, get to crossing those spaces off your list one by one! You’ll feel SO GOOD knowing your home has been rid of “junk” and that every thing has its place. When you’re ready, take those items to your nearest Goodwill or donation center. Selling clothes and household items can be nice for the extra cash, but again, we’re trying to make things easier on ourselves - having to list and pack and mail doesn’t sound fun.
— Refresh Your Home: We’re not forcing ourselves to do any major home projects right now… because again, it’s a time of rest. But, sometimes we just want to feel like our spaces are new again. Outside of a solid deep clean, from baseboards to ceiling fans and everything in between, the best way to feel refreshed in your home is a solid rearrange. I love to shop my own home. I came back from holidays and switched my two area rugs, moved some furniture around, swapped lamps, redecorated some surfaces. I spent zero dollars and yet I have that sense of newness again!
— Clean Up Your Digital Spaces: Dedicating time to cleaning up our devices and digital spaces is equally as important as organizing anything else. Get into those email inboxes and start deleting, responding, and unsubscribing to brands. We are not overspending this year on overconsumption and sales! Take a minute to update your profile and signature if needed as well! After emails, organize your photos. I love having a zero count for a clean slate at the start of the year. Transfer from your phone to computer and organize into albums before they build up even more. Take a hard look at the apps you have on your phone and delete any you don’t use and reorganize your home screen to better serve you. On your computer, delete programs you don’t use, clean up and compress old files to make room for more, and reorganize your desktop. Set a new background for a fresh start! Also, tackle those subscription lists! Check your phone and expenses and make a list of every single subscription, whether apps, streaming, or delivery - cut what you don’t enjoy/use.
— Sweep Your Social Media: This one has become more and more important as I’ve realized I have no room for people who don’t bring me joy. Take 30 minutes or so to open up your social media apps and unfollow or “mute” people who aren’t bringing you joy or who aren’t inspiring you orrrr who may be causing you to overspend on things you don’t need. No one should take this personally (including me.. if you must let me go, but non-so-secretly hope you don’t!!). Instagram, for example, has become a place of pure inspiration and joy any time I open it up because of who I’ve chosen to follow - it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom and comparison and numbers and negativity). I also recommend taking a hard look at what social media you do love to use and which you can stand to live without. Less really is more in this case. Oh, and maybe now is a good time to update your LinkedIn or portfolio or website!
— Fill in Your Calendar: If you haven’t already done so, treat yourself to a new planner and/or wall calendar (ahhh the joys of real paper and writing!). Take just 30 mins to fill in travel, important dates, events, or appointments. If you’ve been putting off medical appointments, like wellness checks or dental cleaning, call your doctors and get em in the books! And maybe take a few minutes to text each of your friends and try to schedule a time to meet them for dinner or have a wine night or do something fun in late February or March. Impromptu, last minute plans are welcomed (if you wish), but knowing you have social plans on your calendar to look forward to is nice and will help you settle into winter without feeling guilty when you want to do nothing.
— Set Up Your Savings: I mean to make this as easy as possible. Lightly think about the year ahead (and the one after) and any big expenses you may want to spend on. Opening high-yield savings accounts for different types of spending and setting automatic transfers on pay day can be life-changing. I like to take this month to adjust/increase my transfers. Set these up now so they’re working in the background throughout the year! I’ve also been using You Need a Budget (a referral link but promise not sponsored!) for many years now and highly recommend for tracking every account, asset, debt, and expense you may have and for budgeting with ease. Lastly, if you can, go into your retirement savings and increase your monthly contributions for the year, even if just by 1%.
— Create A Wishlist: If you, like me, are trying to be more thoughtful about where you put your money when it comes to personal shopping… make a list. I started this in my notes app on my phone and add to it anytime I think of something I either need or want for home and closet. This has really helped me stay on track and only bring in things that will serve me better or add to my quality of style or design. Having it on my phone helps me refer to it quickly when I’m antiquing or out shopping! And I often actually end up removing things from my list because I’ve changed my mind or decide I don’t care for it anymore. And knowing I didn’t waste money on something trendy feels good. Doing this at the start of the year is a perfect time, especially as you think about items you may want based on the seasons.
— Toss Expired Products: This feels obvious, but a reminder is always nice and this takes 5 minutes. Toss all your expired food from your pantry and fridge! Especially those pesky dressings that often sit for months and months. And, lest we forget, makeup and skincare expire too!
From doing the least to getting a bit more organized, I hope winter serves you well!! Stay cozy out there! I’m off to color.
Finding Beauty in the Stillness of the Everyday
I often find that we follow certain people as a form of escapism. Lately, I think many of us need that with all that’s going on. Not to forget what’s happening in the world (because it’s important to acknowledge) but to have moments where we can breathe and just appreciate something small. A survival technique we can all probably use in today’s reality.
When I think about my life and what I enjoy most. It can all be wrapped up into this one concept… romanticizing. And it’s what I offer others too and why I think I’ve attracted my audience. Inspiring content that simply evokes a feel-good moment.
The gloomy weather looms outside as I draft this note. I’m sitting in my big comfy white chair in the living room window. I have my wicker lamp glowing in the corner. Candles lit throughout the apartment, flames flickered by the soft breeze coming in through an open window. The hum of rain fills the air, complimented by a jazzy playlist.
I’ll go for a walk in a bit in one of my favorite charming neighborhoods. I’ll imagine what it’s like to live in an old home, ivy-covered, and filled with character. I’ll walk the cobblestone and stop to admire the many details that others will never notice. I’ll pop into a cozy coffee shop and order a warm drink and people watch. I’ll buy myself flowers. I’ll pour a glass of wine in the evening and cook something like croque monsieur. I’ll pretend I’m the main character. I’ll romanticize. And I’ll feel instant happiness at every aesthetically pleasing and intentional moment —focused only on the petite joys, pushing aside the noise.
Research says romanticizing was quickly made popular during the pandemic—though I can’t remember a time in my life when I didn’t do this. I could attribute that to my parents. Two incredibly creative people. A woman who writes beautifully, has always had fresh flowers in the house, and pays close attention to the details of her homes… a traveler. A man who is a craftsman and an artist, who could paint the most incredibly captured scenes from his mind and build anything from nothing. He sees the potential in every mess.
Romanticizers live in the present. In the most mundane points of our days, we’re finding happiness by simply looking for the beauty in our daily routines. I often capture these cozy, aesthetic pieces of my life to share with you all. I do all I can to create a home that feels like a scene from a favorite cozy film. I light my candles most evenings. I use the antique dinnerware. I drink out of my fancy glasses. I make flower arrangements and create. I believe in making everything I can beautiful.
I thought my life would look so different at 33. As I got older and realized the vision I had for myself wasn’t necessarily shaping up, I shifted. Instead of constantly thinking about a future house, husband, career, and life… I focused inward on what made me happy right now. I stopped waiting for my life to happen.
And through romanticizing, I found clarity in what matters most to me. I stopped putting pressure on myself to find a partner, make the most money, have the busiest social life, and go above and beyond at work to the point of burnout. I recognized the beauty in quieter living. Making meaningful connections, taking my time, living more intentionally, and noticing the little things. This brought me peace and most importantly, enjoyment in the life I’ve created for myself.
“Many people lose the small joys in the hope for the big happiness.”
Pearl S. Buck
Romanticizing doesn’t mean bypassing the challenges or escaping reality. We could spend our days focused on the negative, bitter happenings of our worlds. But what kind of life would that be? While it’s incredibly important to acknowledge these things and do what we can to play a positive part, we also deserve to feel good and appreciate the lives we worked hard to build for ourselves.
It’s not about achieving aesthetic perfection or pretending to be happy. It’s about giving us room to breathe and finding light in the dark. It’s about immersing ourselves into being the main characters of our lives rather than the supporting actor watching it pass us by.
The art of romanticizing can help us feel a better sense of fulfillment where we are right now. It gives us room to value the beauty in our every day and appreciate what we often take for granted. For many of us, we have to find pockets of peace and clarity. For me, it’s found in creating a life where I’ve made each and every moment a bit more meaningful. I couldn’t recommend it more.
Especially during a time where many of us are struggling to stay above water and take care of our mental health. Sometimes our minds need a bit of embellishment. And sometimes we need a way to feel like we have control of our lives, when so often, we do not. Next time you’re having trouble finding your light… a little romanticizing can go a long way.
Stop to smell the roses. Remember to look up. Notice the way the light dances across a room. Listen to the birds sing or the hustle and bustle of strangers flying by you. Look out for lovers and friends and laughter and remember that there are good people in the world. Embrace the sound of rain outside your window.
Disconnect. Take yourself on a walk or a long country drive. Read a book in your comfiest corner. Journal or write your friend a letter to be mailed. Crochet. Do a puzzle. Paint. Create. Sit in silence with yourself. Breathe.
Go on outings. Go antiquing, visit a museum, take a garden tour, go to the movies, go to the farmers market, or simply take a walk through your favorite neighborhood, capture beautiful homes, and be left feeling inspired.
Be intentional about how you decorate your space. You would be surprised to learn how much your environment affects your mood. Make it your own — a cozy oasis from the noise of the world.
Give yourself little joys. Buy yourself flowers and spend some time arranging them. Buy yourself candles and light them often. Take yourself to a cute little coffee shop and treat yourself. Date yourself. Put a nice outfit on. Take yourself out to dinner somewhere pretty. Sit at the bar. Order your favorite meal.
Use the good stuff. Don’t save the precious things for “one day.” Whether you’re alone or hosting a big party, never miss an opportunity to dress up your table or your meals and yourself.
Put a good playlist on. Pretend you’re in Europe. Cook yourself a good meal. Dance around the kitchen with your partner, with your dog, or with yourself. Feel good.
I recently restarted Grey’s Anatomy. And I can’t help but always smile at Meredith and Cristina’s “dance it out” moments. When life hands them something terrible or they witness a tragic case at the hospital, they give themselves these pockets of joy. Or in Stepmom, when Jackie, diagnosed with cancer and awaiting her imminent death, sings and dances to “Ain't No Mountain High Enough” with her kids in her bedroom and out to the landing.
We’re all aware of the bad things that can happen in the world and within our own lives. But it’d be a shame to let the good go unnoticed and wasted. We need those moments too.